My first recording of lightning with my digital cam....
____
The TVGuy Mailbag has filled up again so let's weed through some of the missives... as always, the following excerpts are from actual letters....
>>doofus... mozart doesn't paint. he composes music. duhhh.
--anonymous @blogger.com
TVGuy: In a blog entry a few weeks back I said something to the effect of "it's like watching Mozart paint..."
It's little known that in addition to his visionary musical gifts, Mozart was also a gifted painter... freely utilizing disciplines from Expressionism, Cubism and Surrealism to blend either of the aesthetic values followed in choosing what to paint (and how) or to the physical techniques employed by... er... umm... painting... uh...
Okay, I screwed up. I admit it. I've gone back and fixed it... I'm sorry.
Clearly my editorial staff had their heads somewhere else that day... for that, I apologize... everything here at TVGuy can't be perfect... you know, like Beethoven when he sculpted those amazing Baroque statues or when Einstein invented the automobile...
______
>>I heard a woman the other day describe her red wine as "thoughtful yet divine." Seriously. I almost slapped her.
--ka*** @earth****.***
TVGuy: That is outstanding... I don't really get the whole insanity of pairing strange words with wines...
For example, this was taken out of an email I got from a wine store the other day...
2006 URBAN UCO - SAUVIGNON BLANC, UCO VALLEY, ARGENTINA
87 PTS. - WINE SPECTATOR- Nice cut, with tangy grapefruit and kiwi notes and a crunchy, minerally finish.
Crunchy? Minerally?!? You've got to be kidding me....
However, this blog entry so far is slightly oaky with a buttery finish that is both complex and childlike....
____
>>I hope you acknowledge this message as soon as possible.
I'm presently out of state for a personal business, Unfortunately for me i misplaced my wallet that contact my ATM and other Cards at the hotel where i lodged, I am so confused right now, I dont know what to do or where to go,I didn't bring my phone here, I have access to only emails, i'm totally stranded have no penny with me, can you please send me $2000 today so i can return home, As soon as I get home i would refund it immediately. Write me so i can let you know how to send it. keep this to yourself only, please ! cos i wont want anyone to know about my traveling for some personal reasons!!.
Thanks.
--1marc******* @coloradofilm.***
TVGuy: I received this message supposedly from a friend of mine... but as you can see it's clearly a SPAM attempt at getting money from me... I would have fallen for it except for...
1. My friend apparently can access the internet despite being "stranded"... I guess the option of "borrowing a phone" isn't available...
2. She needs $2000 to get home because clearly she is visiting our secret Lunar Base on the Dark Side of the Moon... couldn't you circumnavigate the globe for $2,000?
3. My intelligent college-educated friend apparently has forgotten how to spell, use punctuation or form cohesive sentences all at the same time....
4. I'm not an idiot...
...I guess what happened was her address book online had been hijacked by someone and all of her friends received this message. Fortunately no one was dumb enough to send any money to anyone...
But of course I took some time to write back... because I'm.. well... me....
Date: April 6, 2008
Re: Marcia / Hotel
From: TVGuy
Dear Marcia, That is terrible! How did this happen? Please let me know immediately how I can help! Urgently awaiting your swift reply!
Love,
TVGuy
Not an hour later I received this missive....
Hi Gregory, Thanks for responding asap, i'm sorry i cant give you a call for now cos i have no access to phone right here in the hotel, i have been restricted from many facilities, Kindly send the money to me as soon as you can, You can have it sent right now using your credit card to make the payment online from the western union website or go to any western union outlet to send it.
Umm... you've been restricted from "using the phone"? Are you in prison?
I'm just happy I can use my credit card to make the payment so swiftly!!
Thankfully I received instructions on how to do this....
Receivers Details: Name: Marcia M****** Add: 28 London Street, Paddington, London. W2 1HH, London. United Kingdom After sending the money please send me the following money transfer details as been used for the transaction so that i can receive it today and make plan of coming back with the next available flight.
I'll be sure to do that, you know.. so you can "make plan".
1. Senders Name:
2. Senders Add:
3. Money Transfer Control Number (MTCN):
4. Amount paid/Currency:
5. Receivers name:
6. Text Question:
7. Answer:
Wow, it's like my friend has had this happen to her before! Everything is so neat and organized! I'm surprised she was able to access the internet what with her being "restricted" and all....
Thank you very much and i will look forward to receive the money transfer details, meanwhile dont forget to keep this matter confidential until i return.
Confidential? You mean, don't place it on my personal blog so everyone on Earth could access it? You bet! I'd never do that!!!!
______
>>Just read your Fitness entry this morning and judging from my calendar you should be done with "Phase One" by now, right? How much weight did you end up losing? Or did you fall off the wagon?
--cha***** @*****.com
TVGuy: Oh ye of little faith.....
Here were the final results from my first 12 weeks... which ended last Sunday....
Just going by the averages I lost about 16 pounds but it's actually closer to 22 if you take the absolute high to absolute low... very happy with my results... taking a week off to let my body rest and also to enjoy some foods I've been skipping the past three months... then another 10 weeks await in "Phase 2".... going to up my caloric intake this time a bit so I don't lose so much... 194 pounds I think will be my end goal... need to add some muscle though....
_____
And then another friend wrote me and said her email address book had been compromised... this time, by the good folks at "honestestseller .com"....
>>We are a large electronics product sssale company that locates in China. Our vision is to grow and expand the market to share with our customers. We treasure a long term business partnership. Quality and prestige are the most important for us.We mainly sell our products to those countries: USA, UK, Germany, Italy, Sweden, France, Canada, Australia, South American, etc.
--test*** @honestestseller.com
TVGuy: Well, that's "sssuper"... I "locate" in the U.S.! And it looks like from your list, you basically sell your products to... well.. Earth. (Well, except for the continent of "South American"...)
Oh, one more thing... I assume "HonestSeller.com" was taken already, but "Honestestseller.com"?? Really? That's just one of the Stupidestestest things I've ever seen...
______
>>Did you see this?
--jw**** @the***.tv
TVGuy: No, I hadn't... that is pretty remarkable.. Could you imagine being on the other side of the interstate and seeing that truck come towards you? Yikes! (I also like how FOX helpfully put "Highway Horror" in a little graphic in the corner in the beginning.. you know.. because they just care...)
______
>>Worst Website ever? You click on a number and it shows you............... the number. Thanks!
--cd******* @the***.tv
TVGuy: I admit, that is horrible... I just don't see the point of it at all... but as long as this website continues to plague the internet, the title of "Worst Website Ever" is secure....
______
>>Patrick Duffy to host Bingo America! Please let me know if you are interested in participating in a bloggers call with Patrick, date TBD.
--JDe***** @**prgroup.com
TVGuy: Okay, I'll let you know if I'm ever interested... date WHFO. (When Hell Freezes Over)
I'd often wondered what was more boring to do as a human being than play Bingo... and now we have a new contender...... talking about playing Bingo!
(And Bing-o was his name-o!)
_____
>>AUSTIN, Minnesota (CNN) -- A mysterious nerve disorder that hit some slaughterhouse employees with debilitating symptoms apparently was caused by inhaling a fine mist of pig brain tissue. While eating pig brains isn't dangerous, inhaling fumes from particles of pig brain matter can be, scientists say.
Just.... Yuck.
--Ja********* @******.com
TVGuy: Well, as I understand it... It's the harvesting method, called "blowing brains," that posed the health risk. In the procedure, high blasts of compressed air were shot into the head cavity to remove the brains. Sometimes the liquid combined with brain tissue and turned into a mist.
Now, if you'll excuse me I have to go violently throw up....
______
>>Greg,
Lets just get one thing straight. Silence of the Lambs is the best movie there ever was. Plain and simple. No arguing whatsoever. No acting ever ever was better than Mister Hopkins was in the film. You know and everyone knows it. You and me and your great Aunt Tillie will have to wait a long long time until we see better. I will tell you one thing - I can not wait until someone comes along and does better acting. I can hardly even imagine how anyone could be. Absolutely astonishing. Jodie was excellent too. And as Lily Tomlin would say - And that's the truth.
One thing I will agree with you is that Jodie's acting in Contact was the best that she ever did. Very definitely.
I think you have a great first name.
Greg
--saveanchorbeams @***.com
TVGuy: I think it's terrific that our nation's leading mental institutions allow internet access for all of their patients... the fact that they are writing me falls under the category of... "not so terrific"...
The police will probably find my body in a pork processing plant intertwined with some Pig Brain Mist...
(Sorry, I just wanted to type "Pig Brain Mist" one more time....but at least you can be comforted in the fact that we've pretty much hit rock bottom with "Disgusting Emails About Pork Products" for the rest of the mailbag....)
____
>>Creepy...
--TVGal @******.com
TVGuy: Then again....
________________________
Les: And, in fact, there are many examples in history of hogs replacing horses. In the ninteenth century, an Englishman trained swine and drove four in hand through London with these curious steeds. Altogether with its potentialism repressed as it ordinarily is, the pig is a veritable Pandora's Box of exciting possibilities. This has been Les Nessman with a wrap-up of today's major news stories...
--"WKRP in Cincinnati" (CBS)
Crunchy? Minerally?!? You've got to be kidding me....
However, this blog entry so far is slightly oaky with a buttery finish that is both complex and childlike....
____
>>I hope you acknowledge this message as soon as possible.
I'm presently out of state for a personal business, Unfortunately for me i misplaced my wallet that contact my ATM and other Cards at the hotel where i lodged, I am so confused right now, I dont know what to do or where to go,I didn't bring my phone here, I have access to only emails, i'm totally stranded have no penny with me, can you please send me $2000 today so i can return home, As soon as I get home i would refund it immediately. Write me so i can let you know how to send it. keep this to yourself only, please ! cos i wont want anyone to know about my traveling for some personal reasons!!.
Thanks.
--1marc******* @coloradofilm.***
TVGuy: I received this message supposedly from a friend of mine... but as you can see it's clearly a SPAM attempt at getting money from me... I would have fallen for it except for...
1. My friend apparently can access the internet despite being "stranded"... I guess the option of "borrowing a phone" isn't available...
2. She needs $2000 to get home because clearly she is visiting our secret Lunar Base on the Dark Side of the Moon... couldn't you circumnavigate the globe for $2,000?
3. My intelligent college-educated friend apparently has forgotten how to spell, use punctuation or form cohesive sentences all at the same time....
4. I'm not an idiot...
...I guess what happened was her address book online had been hijacked by someone and all of her friends received this message. Fortunately no one was dumb enough to send any money to anyone...
But of course I took some time to write back... because I'm.. well... me....
Date: April 6, 2008
Re: Marcia / Hotel
From: TVGuy
Dear Marcia, That is terrible! How did this happen? Please let me know immediately how I can help! Urgently awaiting your swift reply!
Love,
TVGuy
Not an hour later I received this missive....
Hi Gregory, Thanks for responding asap, i'm sorry i cant give you a call for now cos i have no access to phone right here in the hotel, i have been restricted from many facilities, Kindly send the money to me as soon as you can, You can have it sent right now using your credit card to make the payment online from the western union website or go to any western union outlet to send it.
Umm... you've been restricted from "using the phone"? Are you in prison?
I'm just happy I can use my credit card to make the payment so swiftly!!
Thankfully I received instructions on how to do this....
Receivers Details: Name: Marcia M****** Add: 28 London Street, Paddington, London. W2 1HH, London. United Kingdom After sending the money please send me the following money transfer details as been used for the transaction so that i can receive it today and make plan of coming back with the next available flight.
I'll be sure to do that, you know.. so you can "make plan".
1. Senders Name:
2. Senders Add:
3. Money Transfer Control Number (MTCN):
4. Amount paid/Currency:
5. Receivers name:
6. Text Question:
7. Answer:
Wow, it's like my friend has had this happen to her before! Everything is so neat and organized! I'm surprised she was able to access the internet what with her being "restricted" and all....
Thank you very much and i will look forward to receive the money transfer details, meanwhile dont forget to keep this matter confidential until i return.
Confidential? You mean, don't place it on my personal blog so everyone on Earth could access it? You bet! I'd never do that!!!!
______
>>Just read your Fitness entry this morning and judging from my calendar you should be done with "Phase One" by now, right? How much weight did you end up losing? Or did you fall off the wagon?
--cha***** @*****.com
TVGuy: Oh ye of little faith.....
Here were the final results from my first 12 weeks... which ended last Sunday....
Just going by the averages I lost about 16 pounds but it's actually closer to 22 if you take the absolute high to absolute low... very happy with my results... taking a week off to let my body rest and also to enjoy some foods I've been skipping the past three months... then another 10 weeks await in "Phase 2".... going to up my caloric intake this time a bit so I don't lose so much... 194 pounds I think will be my end goal... need to add some muscle though....
_____
And then another friend wrote me and said her email address book had been compromised... this time, by the good folks at "honestestseller .com"....
>>We are a large electronics product sssale company that locates in China. Our vision is to grow and expand the market to share with our customers. We treasure a long term business partnership. Quality and prestige are the most important for us.We mainly sell our products to those countries: USA, UK, Germany, Italy, Sweden, France, Canada, Australia, South American, etc.
--test*** @honestestseller.com
TVGuy: Well, that's "sssuper"... I "locate" in the U.S.! And it looks like from your list, you basically sell your products to... well.. Earth. (Well, except for the continent of "South American"...)
Oh, one more thing... I assume "HonestSeller.com" was taken already, but "Honestestseller.com"?? Really? That's just one of the Stupidestestest things I've ever seen...
______
>>Did you see this?
--jw**** @the***.tv
TVGuy: No, I hadn't... that is pretty remarkable.. Could you imagine being on the other side of the interstate and seeing that truck come towards you? Yikes! (I also like how FOX helpfully put "Highway Horror" in a little graphic in the corner in the beginning.. you know.. because they just care...)
______
>>Worst Website ever? You click on a number and it shows you............... the number. Thanks!
--cd******* @the***.tv
TVGuy: I admit, that is horrible... I just don't see the point of it at all... but as long as this website continues to plague the internet, the title of "Worst Website Ever" is secure....
______
>>Patrick Duffy to host Bingo America! Please let me know if you are interested in participating in a bloggers call with Patrick, date TBD.
--JDe***** @**prgroup.com
TVGuy: Okay, I'll let you know if I'm ever interested... date WHFO. (When Hell Freezes Over)
I'd often wondered what was more boring to do as a human being than play Bingo... and now we have a new contender...... talking about playing Bingo!
(And Bing-o was his name-o!)
_____
>>AUSTIN, Minnesota (CNN) -- A mysterious nerve disorder that hit some slaughterhouse employees with debilitating symptoms apparently was caused by inhaling a fine mist of pig brain tissue. While eating pig brains isn't dangerous, inhaling fumes from particles of pig brain matter can be, scientists say.
Just.... Yuck.
--Ja********* @******.com
TVGuy: Well, as I understand it... It's the harvesting method, called "blowing brains," that posed the health risk. In the procedure, high blasts of compressed air were shot into the head cavity to remove the brains. Sometimes the liquid combined with brain tissue and turned into a mist.
Now, if you'll excuse me I have to go violently throw up....
______
>>Greg,
Lets just get one thing straight. Silence of the Lambs is the best movie there ever was. Plain and simple. No arguing whatsoever. No acting ever ever was better than Mister Hopkins was in the film. You know and everyone knows it. You and me and your great Aunt Tillie will have to wait a long long time until we see better. I will tell you one thing - I can not wait until someone comes along and does better acting. I can hardly even imagine how anyone could be. Absolutely astonishing. Jodie was excellent too. And as Lily Tomlin would say - And that's the truth.
One thing I will agree with you is that Jodie's acting in Contact was the best that she ever did. Very definitely.
I think you have a great first name.
Greg
--saveanchorbeams @***.com
TVGuy: I think it's terrific that our nation's leading mental institutions allow internet access for all of their patients... the fact that they are writing me falls under the category of... "not so terrific"...
The police will probably find my body in a pork processing plant intertwined with some Pig Brain Mist...
(Sorry, I just wanted to type "Pig Brain Mist" one more time....but at least you can be comforted in the fact that we've pretty much hit rock bottom with "Disgusting Emails About Pork Products" for the rest of the mailbag....)
____
>>Creepy...
--TVGal @******.com
TVGuy: Then again....
________________________
Les: And, in fact, there are many examples in history of hogs replacing horses. In the ninteenth century, an Englishman trained swine and drove four in hand through London with these curious steeds. Altogether with its potentialism repressed as it ordinarily is, the pig is a veritable Pandora's Box of exciting possibilities. This has been Les Nessman with a wrap-up of today's major news stories...
--"WKRP in Cincinnati" (CBS)
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