The 2nd 100 Worst Movies of My Lifetime (part 1)

Rocky Mtn. Nat'l Park, August 2006...

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Have you seen the new "Iron Man" movie trailer? No? Well click here then and take care of that... looked pretty sweet to me...

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Had to pare down the Emmy ballot. Apparently the Creative Emmys (aren't all of them for Creativeness?) were released this week... so many of the categories had to go away... (admittedly, it was the harder ones so it's not a total loss..)

If you had already turned in an entry, I'll just toss out the unwanted categories...

Sheets due by Friday afternoon... it's free... and there are prizes. I mentioned the prizes part, right?

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A few months back I assembled my "100 Worst Movies of All Time List"... and promptly put it out of my mind right after...

...except the bad movies just kept coming.. and coming... and coming....

So I feel it's my duty to gather a 2nd group of 100... and hopefully this will put this issue to rest once and for all... (until numbers 201-300 occur to me... sigh...)

As always, these films are ones that I hate for various reasons... and while they may bring some of you various amounts of enjoyment, for me they provoke a response of anger, sorrow and misery which cannot be calculated by medical science...

Let's begin, shall we?

First of all, a recap of my "Top 100"...

Anaconda 2

Armageddon
Arthur 2: On the Rocks
Autumn in New York
The Avengers

Baby Geniuses

Baby Geniuses 2

Ballistic: Ecks vs Sever

Barb Wire

Basic Instinct 2

Batman & Robin

Battlefield Earth

The Beverly Hillbillies

Bio-Dome

BloodRayne

The Bone Collector

Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2

Boxing Helena

Cabin Boy

Caddyshack 2

Cat in the Hat
Catwoman

Charlie's Angels 2: Full Throttle
Cobra

The Concorde: Airport '79

The Coneheads

Congo

Cool As Ice

Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd

Drop Dead Fred

8mm

The Fan

Flintstones 2: Viva Rock Vegas

The Forgotten

Freddy Got Fingered

From Justin To Kelly

Gigli

Glimmer Man

Glitter

Godzilla (1998)

Grease 2

Gymkata

The Grudge 2

Heaven's Gate

Hide and Seek

Highlander 3: The Gathering

Hollow Man

Hollow Man 2

Hostel

Howard the Duck

Hudson Hawk

I Still Know What You Did Last Summer

Ishtar

It's Pat

Jack Frost

Jacob's Ladder

Jaws: The Revenge

Joe Dirt

Johnny Mnemonic

Kangaroo Jack
Kazaam

Lady in the Water

Lambada

Lambada, The Forbidden Dance

Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace

Leonard Part 6

Look Who's Talking Now

Lost and Found

Lost in Space

Manos: The Hands of Fate

Melinda and Melinda

New York Minute

Night at the Roxbury

North

Nothing But Trouble

Patch Adams

Pinocchio

Rocky V

Rollerball (2002)

Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band

Showgirls

Son of the Mask

Speed 2: Cruise Control

Spice World

Spies Like Us

Star Trek V: The Final Frontier

Stayin' Alive

Stealth

Stone Cold

Stop! Or my mom will shoot!

Superman IV: The Quest for Peace

Sweet November

Swept Away

Tarzan, The Ape Man (1988)

Timeline

The Village

Waterworld

Weekend at Bernie's II

What Lies Beneath

Wild Wild West

whew... that's a lot of crapola right there.. but we must press forward with...

Part 1 of the 2nd 100 Worst Films of My Lifetime...

>>Dunston Checks In

Its value is ultimately just as a way to keep your children quiet and pliant for ninety minutes...

--Walter Chaw, Film Freak Central

>>Fair Game

Cindy Crawford, meet Action Movie... Action movie, meet Box Office Death...

--Scott Weinberg, efilmcritic.com

>>The Pallbearer

>>Maximum Overdrive

Maximum Crap. It sorta revived AC/DC, if that matters...

--Alex Sandell, Juicy Cerebellum

>>Revenge of the Nerds IV: Nerds in Love

>>The Fly II

Vicious, ugly and brutal. That's the good news, because the first two acts are pretty dull.

--Scott Weinberg, efilmcritic.com

>>Major League III: Back to the Minors

>>Lord of Illusions

>>Top Dog

TVGuy: When I was working in Indianapolis at the CBS affiliate Chuck Norris came into our studios one day to pimp his "Walker, Texas Ranger" program... I thought at the time that Mr. Norris was the meanest, least civil celebrity I had met at that point in my life... 12 years later only Ray Liotta comes close to matching his "F*&$ You!, I'm an Important Actor, and You're Not!" Mentality...

My point is this... if you thought for a second that Mr. Norris was getting off easy on a Worst Movie List... well, you don't know me very well...

God, that makes me smile... Can you imagine how pissed he was to go to work everyday?

Okay, I guess I'll let him off the hoo... er.. well... okay, maybe one more...

Wasn't there a DVD release Chuck?? Well, wasn't there?????

























(laughing hysterically....)

>>Spice World: The Movie

>>Bushwhacked!

>>Camp Nowhere

>>Judge Dredd

Sometimes, it's rather amusing, but it's impossible to decide whether this is accidental or on purpose.

--James Berardelli, Reelviews

TVGuy: I just want to add that the two stars of this film are Sylvester Stallone and Rob Schneider. Read that last sentence again... good lord. And the word "Dread" is in the title. Sort of. I mean, it's like they made the film solely so that one day a peaceful, insightful and tremendously attractive blogger could include it on a giant list of crappy films. (Notice how I made it all about me there in that last sentence? Clever, huh? Just wanted to see if you were paying attention... next...)

>>Losin' It

TVGuy: Just when I thought "Sylvester Stallone/Rob Schneider" couldn't be topped for "Worst Pairing of Two Actors" on this list, along comes Tom Cruise and Shelley Long. Egad...

>>Sidekicks

>>Teen Wolf Too

Why? Oh, god, Whyyyyyy?

--Kevin Carr, 3M Pictures

>>Jingle All The Way

A career low-point for Arnold Schwarzenegger. Yes, even worse than "Batman & Robin".

--Blake Davis, KFOR

>>Ed

TVGuy: Not the TV show. It was that monkey movie with that guy from "Friends"... wait, here's the movie poster...

I don't need to add anything else, do I??

>>Eddie

Whoopi Goldberg se esforça ao máximo para prender a atenção do espectador, mas o roteiro (escrito por seis pessoas!) anula suas tentativas com uma história previsível e repleta de clichês.

--Pablo Villaca, Cinema em Cena

TVGuy: I don't know what that guy is saying, but I think loosely translated it's "By watching this film, Whoopi Goldberg stole a little piece of my soul and consumed it, passing it through her colon in a highly contemptous act...."

I think. I took High School Latin. Coming back to haunt me big time...

>>Starship Troopers

TVGuy: Look, I know a lot of people like this film (60% on Rotten Tomatoes). That's fine. I'm just not one of them. And neither is this guy....

In the hands of Verhoeven, the mammoth sci-fi battle flick is one of the most astonishingly bad films ever made, a monument to inept filmmaking on a colossal scale...

--Edward Johnson-Ott, NUVO

>>Starship Troopers II

TVGuy: Straight to Video. Ah, every film actor's dream....

Part 2 tomorrow... I think I'll split this up into 5 parts, which should take me nicely right up to my rehearsal dinner next Wednesday. After that, TVGuy will be in Honeymoon Hiatus for a few weeks. Carry on as best you can...

(The Wednesday we return TVGal and I will have about 6,505 hours of TiVo recording to get through... I'll check in then...)

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Keith Richards: Clean his wound? That is the worst euphemism for sex I have ever heard.

--"Andy Richter Controls the Universe" (FOX)