bill of rights...

Our next batch of photos is from construction of the TVGuy Mansion... these were from June of last year... this is a view from our soon to be porch area...

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Your Nielsen Ratings for the Week of May 14-20...

Rank / Show / Network / Viewers (in millions)

1. American Idol FOX 28.1
2. American Idol FOX 24.2
3. Grey's Anatomy ABC 22.6
4. House FOX 21.2
5. CSI CBS 20.4
6. Dancing with the Stars ABC 19.6
7. Desperate Housewives ABC 18.8
8. Dancing with the Stars ABC 18.4
9. CSI: Miami CBS 16.6
10. Bob Barker: 50 Years CBS 14.3
11. The Price is Right CBS 14.0
12. King of Queens CBS 13.6
13. CSI CBS 13.3
14. Criminal Minds CBS 13.2
15. CSI: NY CBS 13.1
16. Law & Order: SVU NBC 12.8
17. Extreme Makeover ABC 12.6
18. Lost ABC 12.3
19. Brothers & Sisters ABC 12.3
20. Heroes NBC 11.5

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Over at Snapstream.com a fellow named Zach came up with a TV Viewer's Bill of Rights... let's take a look...


• No stupid breaks. If the storyline is ongoing, keep showing new episodes each week. "Lost" and "Heroes" suffered huge ratings losses and Jericho died because of this.

• Advance the storyline. Viewers are watching serialized dramas each week to see what's happening. If you aren't advancing the storyline consistently, why would people tune in? ("Prison Break" suffered from this.)

• Don't cancel the show without an ending (aka, have an endgame at all times): Respect the investment that a viewer makes to watch a serialized drama. After a viewer is burnt by this once, they are less likely to invest in more shows.

• Commit to an end time for the first storyline: Here's a suggestion…. a season is a great timespan in which to answer all the asked questions that were in the pilot.

• Don't have cliffhangers season to season: Take the hint from 24. If you have a new good storyline at the start of each season, viewers will tune in again. If you make them wait 4 months, they'll forget what was happening and stop watching in frustration.

• Don't name the show something that doesn't continue to make sense: Prison Break. Need I say more?

• Don't screw with the timeslot: Viewers without DVRs who miss one or two episodes due to a timeslot change are going to be lost. If the plot advanced as it should, by the time they find the show again, they will be a lost as a viewer who never saw the show at all.

• Find a new storyline: The government or giant corporate conspiracy has been done. Seriously.

That's his take... I agree with a lot of that (some of it isn't reasonable... Cliffhangers are a necessary evil... no other shows are serialized in "24"'s format... also, breaks are inevitable.. shows only have 22 or so episodes...)

I have a few others I'd like to add though...

• I know the Internet is the Big Hot Thing of the Moment now, but I don't ever, and I mean EVER want to have to go online to get clues, plot advancements, character biographies etc. that makes viewing the next week's episode understandable. Everything the viewer needs should be presented on television... you can have all the "Heroes" Online Graphic Novels you want, but if it gets to the point that I have to do "Homework" to follow a show, I'm outta there....

• Promos for the next week's episode give away far too much (yes, I'm talking to you FOX..).
Major secretive plot twists should be just that... a secret...

• If a serialized drama is cancelled after three episodes ("Drive", "DayBreak" etc...) the remaining episodes must be made available to viewers online somewhere, including a written statement from the show's creators about future elements they had intended to reveal in future episodes.... maybe even how they thought the series would end ultimately.... there is nothing worse than starting watching a program and having it yanked out from under you after a few hours...
(Okay, sure, Oral Surgery is worse... I was just making a point... can we continue here?)

• I appreciate that there are needs for advertisers to have different revenue streams available to them (with my DVR I think I've seen 8 network commercials in the past three years) but can we please not have another "Scratch n' Sniff" episode of "My Name is Earl" or any other program please? That was just horrible... and I don't need the writers of "Grey's Anatomy" or "House" thinking that a Hospital Version of this is okay... I never, ever want to scratch a card to release the scent of "Frontal Lobotomy"...

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USA Network next week debuts a 6 hour adapation of the novel "The Starter Wife" by... well, I don't know and I'm too lazy to look it up...

It stars the delightful Debra Messing ("Will & Grace")... remember her?













I thought so.. anyway, the reason I bring this up is that all of the advertising for this program is billing it as "A Major Television Event"!!!!














What dictates something becoming "Major"? An "Event"?











Is it because it's longer than 2 hours? Is that what gets you the extra adjectives? Is there a committee that decides these things? Can something be an "Event" but not a "Major Event"?













Isn't it really just.. you know... a MiniSeries? Just a TV Show?













(If you think I'm just babbling here so I can continue to put up pictures of the delightful Ms. Messing... well, that's where you'd be correct... can you blame me??)

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Karen: Good Lord. I can't believe I'm at a public pool. Why doesn't somebody just pee directly on me?
--“Will & Grace” (NBC)