it can always be worse...

Dream Lake in RMNPark....

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Look, we here at TVGuy understand that you get frustrated with your favorite shows from time to time...

>>Why won't they move the plot forward on "Lost"?

>>When will Hiro get his powers back on "Heroes"?

>>How on earth does Jim Belushi still have a show?

But it can always be worse... always...

Don't believe me?

















Yes, it's "Streethawk", starring Rex Smith. It's a souped up motorcycle... he fights crime.. you get it...

To make matters worse, his character's name on the show was... Jesse Mach. Get it? Mach? Fast? Speedy? Ugh.

(and yes, there is a website for the show... and the creator of the site hopes that you'll make a donation! It can be found here and clearly this illustrates what happens when you still live with your parents at age 48... let's move on...)

















This show is called "Automan" which I place here because my friend Ty claims it's the worst show ever... I have honestly never heard of it even in passing, but that picture is pretty damn funny... no, I don't know if there is a website for it and I'm not Googling it either...















This picture is from a show called "The Highwayman"... I don't remember this either... apparently it starred Sam Jones from "Flash Gordon"... the series description follows...

The movie and subsequent series follow the adventures of "The Highwayman", one of a mysterious group of U.S. Marshals conducting crime-fighting missions and solving bizarre mysteries. Each Highwayman is equipped with a hi-tech, multi-functioned truck.

And your opening narration...

"There is a world, just beyond now, where reality runs a razor thin seam between fact and possibility; where the laws of the present collide with the crimes of tomorrow. Patrolling these vast outlands is a new breed of lawman, guarding the fringes of society’s frontiers, they are known simply as "Highwaymen"... and this is their story..."

I'm just fortunate I don't remember this at all.... "a razor thin seam between fact and possibility"?? has there ever been a worse sentence segment in the history of the English Language?


and then there's this Syndicated gem...














yes, it's "Nightman"...

After lightning strikes saxophonist Johnny Domino, he finds he is telepathically tuned to the frequency of evil. This gives him an edge for finding the bad guys, and some special classified wearable gear gives him an edge for fighting them.

A saxophonist? That's his job? I guess that's how he is able to be "tuned to the frequency of evil"... kill me.. kill me now...

then we have this ode to the Dodge Motor Company...
















I never actually watched this show... was it just a complete copy of "Knight Rider"? I wish I cared more to find out...




















(I'm putting this picture here not because the show was one of the worst ever, but to mock the fact that they have obviously added someone else's hand and gun for Stephanie Powers... and why does she have a gun in the first place? I just love the 80s don't you?)

Anyway, my point is that it can always be worse... and if you still don't believe me, well, I give you...












Yes it's "Heat Vision and Jack", starring Jack Black and Owen Wilson (as the voice of the motorcycle)...

Your cast includes...

>>Jack Austin, a former astronaut. He was exposed to inappropriate levels of solar energy, giving him superintelligence. He appears to lose this intelligence at night, requiring only Earth-normal levels of daylight to reactivate it. His catchphrases are "I know EVERYTHING!" and "Knowledge is power... for real." Played by Jack Black.

>>Heat Vision, a talking motorcycle. He was created when Jack's roommate Doug was shot by a ray, causing him to merge with his motorcycle. He is capable of speech and can fight by ramming into opponents. He is unable to use doorknobs and is unable to right himself if pushed over, however. Voiced by Owen Wilson.

>>Ron Silver, the main villain. He works for NASA, and will stop at nothing to capture or kill Jack Austin. Played by himself.

Sure, you're saying to yourself... "hey TVGuy, that sounds like campy fun!"

Watch the Opening Credit Sequence and see if you still feel that way...

(If you do, don't tell me.. I don't want to know...)

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to pre-order the following DVD from Amazon...

























Finally! And if you've never seen the show, I've put part one of an episode up at TVGuy Video... yes, you can borrow my DVD of the series when I'm done with it...

but not a second before...

______________________
Larry: You know in fact, Hank, what I was thinking was next year when we have the going away party, let me and Artie take care of the stripper because we can probably find one that doesnt know you...
--"The Larry Sanders Show" (HBO)